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WTF?
How the hell does a realtor (not my realtor) expect to sell a house--any house--if the amount of time you can show the house is about 30 freaking seconds because you're jamming so many in?
I was home this afternoon when a realtor came through our house. I shall now through the magic of theater recreate it for you:
(JOSH, a handsome young man, is sitting on the couch reading. The front door opens slightly and the sleigh bells on the handle ring. The door stops.)
REALTOR: (timidly) Hello.
JOSH: Hi, come on in.
REALTOR: I'm sorry I thought the house was vacant. (Ed. Note: she called me to tell me she was showing the house today at my house)
(beat.)
REALTOR: Well let's look around. This house has very interesting architecture.
FIRST HOME BUYER: (from kitchen) Oh, there's even parking back here.
REALTOR: I saw your cross. Where are you from?
(beat.)
REALTOR: In the kitchen.
JOSH: The cross is from El Salvador.
REALTOR: Oh! Is that where you're from?
JOSH: (beat.) No, my mother was the pastoral.. I forget her title, at St. Ann's and they were one of the first churches in the U.S. to accept refuges from El Salvador.
REALTOR: My husbands from El Salvador. (to HOME BUYERS who have just come back into the living room.) All set?
JOSH: Feel free to look around, don't leave on my account.
REALTOR: No we're just looking at eight more houses today
(beat.)
REALTOR: Thank you. (Hands card to JOSH, EXITS.)
Fin.
Honestly, I cleaned up the house for that?
Edited To Add: OK the realslim realtor showed up later. I have no idea who those people were....
I was home this afternoon when a realtor came through our house. I shall now through the magic of theater recreate it for you:
(JOSH, a handsome young man, is sitting on the couch reading. The front door opens slightly and the sleigh bells on the handle ring. The door stops.)
REALTOR: (timidly) Hello.
JOSH: Hi, come on in.
REALTOR: I'm sorry I thought the house was vacant. (Ed. Note: she called me to tell me she was showing the house today at my house)
(beat.)
REALTOR: Well let's look around. This house has very interesting architecture.
FIRST HOME BUYER: (from kitchen) Oh, there's even parking back here.
REALTOR: I saw your cross. Where are you from?
(beat.)
REALTOR: In the kitchen.
JOSH: The cross is from El Salvador.
REALTOR: Oh! Is that where you're from?
JOSH: (beat.) No, my mother was the pastoral.. I forget her title, at St. Ann's and they were one of the first churches in the U.S. to accept refuges from El Salvador.
REALTOR: My husbands from El Salvador. (to HOME BUYERS who have just come back into the living room.) All set?
JOSH: Feel free to look around, don't leave on my account.
REALTOR: No we're just looking at eight more houses today
(beat.)
REALTOR: Thank you. (Hands card to JOSH, EXITS.)
Fin.
Honestly, I cleaned up the house for that?
Edited To Add: OK the real
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