toosuto | Hello Internet My Old Friend

I think I clipped Art's car while I was parking, if you see him would you be a dear and let him know?

There's been a lot going on in my head and I am going to best to vomit it forth in some sort of coherent manner. Things have gotten somewhat calm on the job front. I don't like it any better but it is more bearable. I feel competent and sometimes like people might actually be listening to what I have to tell them. The weather has been more than pleasant. It's cooled off and has been overcast and rainy more often than not: my favorite kind of weather. And this train of thought is getting me very distracted. (A bell sounds.)

I've got this problem/issue/thing that's been rolling around in my head and I am interested in hearing some opinions/suggestions/whatever. I have for some time now been considering what to for myself to fill the gaping void where some people have a spiritual life. I was raised catholic but if I hadn't been fully decided that the big C (*snicker*) wasn't for me the Pope's recent lettero f appreciation certainly would have decided it.

Pope: This one goes out to all the ladies... (A bell rings. The Pope glances around.)
Pope: Now I want you to know that it's me, not you- (A bell rings.)
Pope: Hey Women: suck it! (A Bell.)
Pope: ... (Bell.) </David Ives>

I certainly am not willing to tell Rona someday, "Well I know this religion treats you like a second class citizen but the message behind all the dogma is..." That point is moot as I feel I have left that (or any other christian church) behind me. I am tired of wading through all of it just to get to the point (Hey, be nice to each other!) But I am unsure where to go. I know myself well enough that I need some sort of outside structure to hang my experience on, for a number of reasons. A) It doesn't seem worth it if I just make it all up. I make shit up all the time and that does not make a spiritual life make. B) If it's just me always all by my lonesome doing X eventually X succumbs to being put off in lieu of doing Y, Z and A or whatever other alpha-numerical representations of stuff waltz in and shout (in high squeaky voices) "Hey, we are cool things that must be done ,i>now,/i> or you'll never get another chance to do us again.

What am I looking for? Good question internet, I'm glad you asked. These are the qualifiers that come to mind: no hippy crap. I'm not looking for a feel good philosophy to explain why, oh why good things happen to bad people. I am looking for something that will allow me to center myself and accept the fact that horrible shit happens that the universe can be capricious beast when it wants to so deal. I started trying to practice yoga this summer at a local center and found that while I enjoy the physical activity what little non-physical instruction that went along with it really made me uncomfortable for that very reason. 40 year old empowered women treating as if I was trying to become an empowered woman just doesn't cut it for me. I have in the past found myself drawn to eastern philosophies to try and put together a decent worldview and while I admit that I am currently leaning towards eastern thought as a possible solution to my dilemma I do not want to be a cultural usurper and want to come to it in a way that is honest about where I am coming from, what I am moving into and where it can take me.

I dunno reading that last bit my eyes tend to glaze over but that could just be that the afternoon is more than pleasantly warm and I am listening to the Smiths and everything just seems kind of calm and dreamy. Perhaps it is just the time to go lounge on the couch and snuggle with my girls. (A bell rings)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well (you know what I'm going to say, don't you?) you might want to consider Zen Buddhism a little more closely, if you're so inclined. Of course I'm biased since that's what I've been doing, but one of the reasons it works for me is precisely that it's not a feel-good thing. While teachers and zendos run the gamut, you'd find that with ministers/priests and churches too (helloooooo pedophilia!). Generally speaking, though, it's pretty much the exact opposite of the hippy stuff, and folks that come to it with the idea that it's going to fix their life will be pretty disappointed.

The cultural appropriation thing is tough, though, for sure. The entire Buddhist community in this country could benefit immensely from people thinking about this issue more thoroughly, not just before getting involved with a tradition but also as they're practicing. I avoided getting involved with it for years because of this, actually, even though it was the practice that made the most sense to me. However, one thing to keep in mind is that the first generation of Japanese teachers who came over here (Shunyru Suzuki, Kobun Chino, Maezumi Roshi, etc.) did so because their own teacher was concerned with how institutionalized Zen had become in Japan and thought that America would be a good place to start over, so to speak. This stands in pretty stark contrast to Tibetan Buddhism, where a lot of teachers came here in order to raise funds to help the exile community back in India and would return there or to Tibet if they could. The fact that it's also not an indigenous/tribal religion makes a difference, also, in my opinion (again, contrast this with Tibetan Buddhism, which has heavy Hindu and indigenous Bon influences that don't translate well to other cultures, and perhaps shouldn't be translated to the West at all). That doesn't change the fact that appropriation is still an issue, that a lot of people routinely exotify their teachers and the practice and are attracted to Zen in hopes of enhancing their personal image. It's a big problem and needs to be taken very seriously. But on the whole it's definitely a safer choice than other Eastern religious traditions are, if you ask me.

My own advice would be to check out some centers near you if you're interested in it, read some good books, and see how you feel about it. As long as you're continually honest with yourself about your motivations and your needs, you'll probably be okay. I don't know what, if anything, you've already read, but I recommend Opening the Hand of Thought by Kosho Uchiyama and Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner. The Art of Just Sitting compiled by John Daido Loori is supposed to be good, too, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. All of these books defy the whole racist "inscrutable Japanese Zen master" stereotype and are therefore really accessible and down-to-earth.

Hope this helps a little. :)

Reading lists are good, because if nothing else I love me some reading. And I was surprised to learn that Spokane was not one, but two, Zen centers I could go and check out. I thinking/hoping the the exoticifying is something I can resist, and I've had training with that already: I used to practice Goju Ryu with this man whom I still have a lot respect for but was crazy as a loon and the tendency of his students to hurt themselves seriously while training for him left me a little worried. But he always tried to give my girlfriends pie (and boxes of cereal that'd opened already) when we'd stop by his house so I guess it evens out.

Honestly if there was some crazy czech or european equivalent I'd check that out too but sadly all we have is a family of gypsies that have cursed our city. True story!

Honestly if there was some crazy czech or european equivalent I'd check that out

Yeah, I'm with you there. The Zen thing was definitely my last alternative. And maybe this is totally self-serving, but I tend to think that the fact that you're so concerned about the exotification issue means you're not doing it so much. :/

It's too bad there's not a Czech equivalent, though. I mean, shit, think about all the bakery.

sadly all we have is a family of gypsies that have cursed our city. True story!

No way! Why'd they do that, praytell?

I dunno someone gave them a parking ticket or something.

They are kind of a shady family and I think the abuse has definitely goes both ways (they won a lawsuit against the city some years back but I can't remember what for exactly, maybe an illegal police raid of their home?) It's hilarious when they get up at city council meetings and offer to remove the curse from the city if we'd only...

Mmmm, bakery. Plus think of all the pinochle!

Hello Internet My Old Friend

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject