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toosutoAll in all I am a lot less freaked out by my new work environment. Which may surprise some, but maybe not others. I don't know.
I was surprised by how many people were my age or older. Also: apparently Magic the Gathering doesn't make one a pariah either (even if I think it maybe should). Still I am not 100% sure that they are ready for someone like me. For example when asking people to spitball answers I tend to fall back on capricious whimsy and my improv training: go with the first idea. An example:
Q: What sort of problems could hinder your initial interaction with customers?
Granted, most of this was a little internal monologue I had with myself--thankfully. Although item the first did pass my lips to the coworker sitting next to me. Other examples of their unreadiness came when we were divided into small groups.
GROUP LEADER: Ok we need to come up with a list of 5 new things that no else knows about you.
COWORKER1: I used to drive a truck for UPS.
COWORKER2: (indicating the GROUP LEADER) I was a substitute teacher at your children's store.
GROUP LEADER: (making notes) Really?
COWORKER3: I am currently in cosmotology school.
ME: I kill and eat hobos for fun.
COWORKER1: The spiders!?
COWORKER2: (simultaneously) Eeeww.
ME: Um, no. I mean bums. Like from the train yard.
GROUP LEADER: I think maybe you should tell us something different about yourself.
ME: Well I'm married and have .4 children.
COWORKER2: wouldn't that be ".4 child"
ME: No, I'm pretty sure the plural is appropriate in that sentence.
(A Short Interlude Ensues)
GROUP LEADER: All right, just one more thing new about ourselves. Myself I go bowling with my mom on Friday mornings.
COWORKER1: I also work at Pottery Barn.
COWORKER2: I have no husband, boyfriend or pets.
COWORKER3: I graduated from CV high school.
Pause.
ME: (attempting to come with something inncocuous) I strongly dislike the daughter of Rene Auberjonois.
GROUP LEADER: Who?
ME: Rene Auberjonois. He used to be on Benson. I think he was the mayor. It's been a while. Anyway I didn't think she was very nice.
(Blank Looks)
COWORKER2: Who?
ME: He played Odo on Star Treck: Deep Space 9? He's a character actor, he's done a lot of sci-fi work.
COWORKER3: Yeah, I don't think I'm old enough to know who he is.
GROUP LEADER: (To COWORKER 4) Do you have a favorite song or musical?
COWORKER4: Ummmmm.
ME: (sighs) Sweeney Todd by Sondheim.
So yeah. I am definitely an odd fit, but I am pretty sure I will be "that odd guy everyone likes but why can't I understand every other reference/sentence out of his mouth." Also my brief story about being this close to getting into Sean Bean's pants fell completely flat. Humorless bastards all of them.
On other fronts: the smithling is now being referred to by my family as "the Little Avocado" on account that it is approximately the size of an avocado. Go figure.
I was surprised by how many people were my age or older. Also: apparently Magic the Gathering doesn't make one a pariah either (even if I think it maybe should). Still I am not 100% sure that they are ready for someone like me. For example when asking people to spitball answers I tend to fall back on capricious whimsy and my improv training: go with the first idea. An example:
Q: What sort of problems could hinder your initial interaction with customers?
- The customer is drenched in blood.
- The customer is has severed appendages extending from shopping bags.
- I'M A ROCK!
- The customer IS A ROCK!
- The customer is at home.
- The customer is Nazi Carrot with a secondary head screaming in German for all the other vegetables to be thrown into the oven.
Granted, most of this was a little internal monologue I had with myself--thankfully. Although item the first did pass my lips to the coworker sitting next to me. Other examples of their unreadiness came when we were divided into small groups.
GROUP LEADER: Ok we need to come up with a list of 5 new things that no else knows about you.
COWORKER1: I used to drive a truck for UPS.
COWORKER2: (indicating the GROUP LEADER) I was a substitute teacher at your children's store.
GROUP LEADER: (making notes) Really?
COWORKER3: I am currently in cosmotology school.
ME: I kill and eat hobos for fun.
COWORKER1: The spiders!?
COWORKER2: (simultaneously) Eeeww.
ME: Um, no. I mean bums. Like from the train yard.
GROUP LEADER: I think maybe you should tell us something different about yourself.
ME: Well I'm married and have .4 children.
COWORKER2: wouldn't that be ".4 child"
ME: No, I'm pretty sure the plural is appropriate in that sentence.
(A Short Interlude Ensues)
GROUP LEADER: All right, just one more thing new about ourselves. Myself I go bowling with my mom on Friday mornings.
COWORKER1: I also work at Pottery Barn.
COWORKER2: I have no husband, boyfriend or pets.
COWORKER3: I graduated from CV high school.
Pause.
ME: (attempting to come with something inncocuous) I strongly dislike the daughter of Rene Auberjonois.
GROUP LEADER: Who?
ME: Rene Auberjonois. He used to be on Benson. I think he was the mayor. It's been a while. Anyway I didn't think she was very nice.
(Blank Looks)
COWORKER2: Who?
ME: He played Odo on Star Treck: Deep Space 9? He's a character actor, he's done a lot of sci-fi work.
COWORKER3: Yeah, I don't think I'm old enough to know who he is.
GROUP LEADER: (To COWORKER 4) Do you have a favorite song or musical?
COWORKER4: Ummmmm.
ME: (sighs) Sweeney Todd by Sondheim.
So yeah. I am definitely an odd fit, but I am pretty sure I will be "that odd guy everyone likes but why can't I understand every other reference/sentence out of his mouth." Also my brief story about being this close to getting into Sean Bean's pants fell completely flat. Humorless bastards all of them.
On other fronts: the smithling is now being referred to by my family as "the Little Avocado" on account that it is approximately the size of an avocado. Go figure.
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no subject
Date: 15 Mar 2004 22:50 (UTC)Ach, the humorlessness of corporate service America. The blank look, the "i don't get it" half-hearted grins. Um...that Josh? He's kind of strange...I think he must be in the "help retards work" program because I don't understand anything that comes out of his mouth.
I like the image of customers drenched in blood. Or with appendages sticking out of their shopping bags. What would gte in the way of me helping the customer?
-They want something.
Congratulations, I hope it turns out okay. Are you at Northtown?
no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 06:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 08:08 (UTC)i saw Sweeny Todd in london back in '92, it was coo
no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 08:16 (UTC)Scenes from Company Training
Date: 16 Mar 2004 08:24 (UTC)Are you Jewish?
k8
Re: Scenes from Company Training
Date: 16 Mar 2004 08:33 (UTC)And for the record I have never worn shoes to bed.
no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 09:27 (UTC)I love "the smithling"
Date: 16 Mar 2004 10:54 (UTC)Re: Scenes from Company Training
Date: 16 Mar 2004 11:09 (UTC)"Killer whale" is "Mörderwal" and rainbow is "regenbogen." Course, perhaps yours is better in the sense of nonsequiteurs(sp?). But, I'm not sure how the whale got into the rainbow. Eh. Monkey.
;) Didn't think so. We'll leave the shoe wearing to your lovely wife.
no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 12:11 (UTC)I also like "The Smithling."
Just know that your obscure pop-culture knowledge makes you a better person than all of your co-workers. Much, much better.
Re: I love "the smithling"
Date: 16 Mar 2004 13:52 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Mar 2004 13:54 (UTC)Berni says
Date: 16 Mar 2004 14:36 (UTC)Those poor, poor cucumbers...