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toosutoThe summer of 1997 is a summer that I will long struggle to remember through the haze of sleep-deprivation and chemical induced amnesia. I knew where I was most of the time (Cedar City UT). Of course since I had no car of my own, was working six days a week and was an hour away from anywhere that counted it isn't very likely that I was really ever anywhere else. However I will always remember my strong dislike to my arch-nemisis (cue dramatic music): Tessa Auberjonois.
Tessa was cast as Viola in Twelfth Night and as Marina in Pericles, Prince of Tyre . I was production crew and arrived on a warm (read blisteringly hot) early june afternoon. After checking in and sleeping we started our summer routine: get up, work 18 hours, drink, sleep, repeat until sunday when we would sleep in and then drink. The first month was technical rehearsals and then in the beginning of July we started opening shows. I was slated to work in the Adams Theater which was the USF's Globe replica (estimated burn time 5 minutes). I was running Twelfth Night and Pericles and was working on set-up crew for Twelfth Night and Henry VI Part II. Plus we were all supposed to be available for rain calls if we weren't running a show (which was 2 a week for me) basically if the weather forecast was at a 40% or more chance of rain we had to hang out in case the show in the Adams had to be moved inside to the rain stage (if it rained hard enough). In three months we had maybe six official rain calls (where we hung around on call) and only once did we ever move a show inside (Pericles). This was my first professional heckling as I was booed as I left my crew head to struggle with the rain tarp and moved to catch prop boxes off the back deck.
It may seem like I am elaborating an awful lot to flesh out this story. that's because I am. So Tessa. She was this tiny little thing that a lot of guys seem to go for: so skinny you thought she might be snapped in half if you weren't careful and very very tan. She was as theater student from Yale and I don't know if we can blame Yale or her but she wouldn't talk to any of the crew below the rank of ASM. Angus (a loud mouthed bastard on crew from North Carolina) being a mostly typical male lusted after her but couldn't get her to talk to him ever. Not even for the literal time of day. So we on the crew came to mock her because we had nothing better to do. Including singing the Tessa Auberjonois song that Angus wrote (in the key of high pitched shouty):
Tessa Auberjonois
Let's do it on the armoire.
Come on and take off my pants,
We'll do the lap dance until dawn,
You won't yawn.
Also some of the crew were always under the stage (too get to the dressing rooms you actually went under the stage and back underneath the theater into the building that stood next to the theater) whenever she had her quick changes during Pericles. Odd that. Anyway, such is the tale of my strong dislike for the seemingly snotty actress who didn't seem to appreciate her run crew.
On the other hand when her father came to pick her up he was awful nice. We chatted a bit about his dogs that he had with them. Black Labs if I recall.
Tessa was cast as Viola in Twelfth Night and as Marina in Pericles, Prince of Tyre . I was production crew and arrived on a warm (read blisteringly hot) early june afternoon. After checking in and sleeping we started our summer routine: get up, work 18 hours, drink, sleep, repeat until sunday when we would sleep in and then drink. The first month was technical rehearsals and then in the beginning of July we started opening shows. I was slated to work in the Adams Theater which was the USF's Globe replica (estimated burn time 5 minutes). I was running Twelfth Night and Pericles and was working on set-up crew for Twelfth Night and Henry VI Part II. Plus we were all supposed to be available for rain calls if we weren't running a show (which was 2 a week for me) basically if the weather forecast was at a 40% or more chance of rain we had to hang out in case the show in the Adams had to be moved inside to the rain stage (if it rained hard enough). In three months we had maybe six official rain calls (where we hung around on call) and only once did we ever move a show inside (Pericles). This was my first professional heckling as I was booed as I left my crew head to struggle with the rain tarp and moved to catch prop boxes off the back deck.
It may seem like I am elaborating an awful lot to flesh out this story. that's because I am. So Tessa. She was this tiny little thing that a lot of guys seem to go for: so skinny you thought she might be snapped in half if you weren't careful and very very tan. She was as theater student from Yale and I don't know if we can blame Yale or her but she wouldn't talk to any of the crew below the rank of ASM. Angus (a loud mouthed bastard on crew from North Carolina) being a mostly typical male lusted after her but couldn't get her to talk to him ever. Not even for the literal time of day. So we on the crew came to mock her because we had nothing better to do. Including singing the Tessa Auberjonois song that Angus wrote (in the key of high pitched shouty):
Tessa Auberjonois
Let's do it on the armoire.
Come on and take off my pants,
We'll do the lap dance until dawn,
You won't yawn.
Also some of the crew were always under the stage (too get to the dressing rooms you actually went under the stage and back underneath the theater into the building that stood next to the theater) whenever she had her quick changes during Pericles. Odd that. Anyway, such is the tale of my strong dislike for the seemingly snotty actress who didn't seem to appreciate her run crew.
On the other hand when her father came to pick her up he was awful nice. We chatted a bit about his dogs that he had with them. Black Labs if I recall.