WTF?

[toosuto]

How the hell does a realtor (not my realtor) expect to sell a house--any house--if the amount of time you can show the house is about 30 freaking seconds because you're jamming so many in?

I was home this afternoon when a realtor came through our house. I shall now through the magic of theater recreate it for you:

(JOSH, a handsome young man, is sitting on the couch reading. The front door opens slightly and the sleigh bells on the handle ring. The door stops.)

REALTOR: (timidly) Hello.

JOSH: Hi, come on in.

REALTOR: I'm sorry I thought the house was vacant. (Ed. Note: she called me to tell me she was showing the house today at my house)

(beat.)

REALTOR: Well let's look around. This house has very interesting architecture.

FIRST HOME BUYER: (from kitchen) Oh, there's even parking back here.

REALTOR: I saw your cross. Where are you from?

(beat.)

REALTOR: In the kitchen.

JOSH: The cross is from El Salvador.

REALTOR: Oh! Is that where you're from?

JOSH: (beat.) No, my mother was the pastoral.. I forget her title, at St. Ann's and they were one of the first churches in the U.S. to accept refuges from El Salvador.

REALTOR: My husbands from El Salvador. (to HOME BUYERS who have just come back into the living room.) All set?

JOSH: Feel free to look around, don't leave on my account.

REALTOR: No we're just looking at eight more houses today

(beat.)

REALTOR: Thank you. (Hands card to JOSH, EXITS.)

Fin.

Honestly, I cleaned up the house for that?

Edited To Add: OK the real slim realtor showed up later. I have no idea who those people were....